Gra Nomad Wanderings

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Q is for...

I read a book some time ago… in fact I read it in bed to my wife (actually I was reading it to both of us!) The book is called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It talks about how you can express heartfelt commitment to your mate. It came out in 2000 and has been reprinted a few times since. There’s also The Five Love Languages for Teenagers, The Five Love Languages for Children and there may be more. Chapman’s idea is that we can express love in five ways, but that one way will be our preferred way. He believes the five languages are:
# Words of Affirmation
# Quality Time
# Receiving Gifts
# Acts of Service
# Physical Touch
One problem is that we tend to treat others as if their primary love language is the same as ours, when in fact it might be different. So a guy who does heaps of housework, cooks meals and does washing is focussing on Acts of Service. But if his mate’s primary love language is Words of Affirmation or Quality Time, then all his efforts are worthless. (Fay would love a bloke whose primary love language was Acts of Service! Sorry Fay.) Some people have 2 primary love languages. Fay’s are Quality Time and Acts of Service. So, she wants me to spend quality time with her and she would love me to vacuum the house now and again (did it today!!!) and hang the washing out and…
So, Q is for QUALITY TIME. It’s an important thing to give people, friends, relatives, family, work mates etc. For me, I have to work at it, because I tend to want to head off and DO something. Don’t get me wrong…. Spending quality time with someone can be playing tennis with them or going on a bike ride or a hike with them. Is there someone you can spend some quality time with this week? Or this weekend?
Hey I guarantee this book!! Look up Les and Kay (pictured) spending time together when Les took Kay out for dinner. Food was lousy, but the time spent together was precious.


At 7:19 PM, Anonymous Bruce Anstie said...

My wife (Kathy) has 2 love languages as well. Quality time and receiving gifts. Unfortunately it's a challenge to give her either of these at the moment though. With two children under the age of 4 quality time is hard to come by, and gift giving is hard because . . . . well I am just stingy!

At 1:39 PM, Blogger Rodney Olsen said...

I'll be giving some quality time to our daughter Emily this Saturday night.

Pauline is taking James out to see The Goodies and Emily and I will either do something together at home or go see a movie.

At 5:13 PM, Blogger Keasty said...

Hey Bruce... such an important time - with Kathy and the munchkins. Get that QT going mate... it'll repay in triplicate.
And Rodney... have a great QT with Emily on Sat.

At 12:32 PM, Blogger Jennifer said...

Wonderful photo of you two!

At 10:08 PM, Blogger Keasty said...

Hey Jennifer... that's not US! That's Les and Kay... friends of ours that don't even know (YET) that they have featured!

At 1:08 PM, Blogger Jennifer said...

Oops! Sorry Keasty. Well, handsome friends you have there!


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